Over the past couple of days I’ve learned the hard way that some friendships just aren’t meant to be. They kind of fade away until, before you know it, you barely talk to that person anymore, even though you used to talk to them every day.
This story involves my friend Charlotte, who’s in my grade, and the focal point of the story, Bridget, who was a grade above us.
Charlotte and I have been friends since our freshman year of high school when we had a few classes together. Bridget joined us our sophomore year when we all had Biology together. Over the course of the class, Bridget, Charlotte, and I became practically inseparable. We all had a lot of the same interests and hated a lot of the same people (come on, it’s high school).
We spent the next two years as best friends. We were constantly at each other’s houses and meeting each other for random lunch dates. We all went to prom together and Charlotte and I were the ones to stay with Bridget the night she graduate high school. Charlotte and I were the ones that stuck with Bridget through everything, from boyfriend (now fiancé) troubles to family troubles to… anything, really. We were always there for her, and for each other. And everything was great. I couldn’t have asked for two better best friends.
I wasn’t naïve enough to try and tell myself that nothing would change once Bridget graduated and moved on to college. I knew that we wouldn’t be able to talk or see each other as much. And I still had Charlotte at school, so it wasn’t bad. I didn’t expect for Charlotte and I to be almost completely frozen out of Bridget’s life, though.
I mean, at first it wasn’t all that bad. Bridget and I went on lunch dates a lot and spent the night at each other’s houses on the weekends. I did notice that Charlotte and Bridget hardly ever talked anymore, but it didn’t seem to really bother either of them, so I didn’t think much of it. Then, however, Bridget and her boyfriend Derek got engaged. I was happy for them, truly. I could tell how much Bridget loved him, even if they did argue a lot. It also helped that they chose Charlotte and I to be bridesmaids.
Then, however, Bridget practically stopped talking to us altogether. The only time that we ever talked was when I would walk into her work to get groceries, and even then the only thing she ever did was complain or talk about the wedding. Once, she was supposed to send me pictures of the wedding dresses she tried on, and she never did, even though I knew she’d gone shopping. I asked her about it, and she didn’t bother to answer me.
This, amongst other things, made me wonder if she was really my friend. She had replaced Charlotte and I with a girl she met at college, and she had practically thrown us to the side.
I told myself I was being immature about it, that I needed to stop thinking that she owed me anything. But it actually really hurt my feelings that she had forgotten about me. Or at least it felt like she’d forgotten about me. And I hated it. She made me feel so insignificant.
So I talked to her about it. I told her exactly how I felt and after a long discussion (which turned into her pointing fingers at me and basically telling me it was my fault anyway), she told me she wasn’t going to apologize because she’d done nothing wrong and that she didn’t care what I had to say.
That hurt. A lot.
After everything I’d done for her, after putting up with all of her crap… that was all she had to say to me. I didn’t know what to do. I knew I was losing one of my best friends, and that was terrifying to me. I had never once doubted our friendship, but then, in the space of thirty minutes, it felt like our entire friendship was over.
I cling to my friends like a lifeline, because they are my lifeline. My friends—Charlotte and Bridget—are the people I can come to when my home life goes to shit, when I don’t know who I am or what I’m supposed to be doing, and I’ve always known that. Now, seemingly in the blink of an eye, one of my best friends is just… gone.
Maybe I’m being over dramatic. Maybe in a couple weeks something will happen and we’ll continue just as we had before and everything will be fine. But for now, I’m coping, if this can even be called coping. I’ve still got the best friend I could have ever asked for in Charlotte. She puts up with all of my crap, even though she doesn’t have to, and I’m so very, very grateful for her.
Anyway, thanks or listening to (reading?) my rant. I hope you all have a great day!